Posts tagged #rambling

Confronting Another Parent In Defense Of Your Child

Let’s face it, we all get defensive with our own kids. Our natural response would look to justify and understand our child’s behavior. If the communication from the other parent came in the form as a text or email it is so difficult to understand their tone and feelings when writing it. You may think you are writing something positive or adding a joke to keep it light but the person on the other end might not take it that way.

Posted on September 16, 2018 and filed under Family, Parenting, School.

An Old Fashioned Childhood and the Helicopter Mom

When I think back at the childhood I had, it was filled with outside play and sometimes hours of boredom. I didn't have the endless hours of searching the internet or the fast pace of social media. If I wanted to communicate with my friends it was a phone call on the house line or a bike ride (or roller blade) to their house to see if they were home. Those were the days of simplicity. Those were the days that kids played outside all day long until the sun came home and Mothers were not accused of neglect if the kids were unsupervised at the playground. This post is probably going to be a bit more serious than most of what I usually post. This is something that weighs heavy on my heart and I'm not holding back from showing you my biggest fears and a little bit of anxiety craziness that perhaps I have kept under wraps.

There is so much going on in our world today and I want my kids to have the opportunity to slow down. I don't want them glued to their phones checking Facebook statuses every hour. I want them to find ways to occupy themselves that forces them to become creative and think outside the box.

I don't want my children to be influenced by the age of information and social media.
Hypocritical I know, coming from a communications and emerging media major.

At the same time I want my kids to have an old fashioned childhood, our society and the dangers are more present than they were 30 years ago. Human trafficking is much more of a thing and not just international but here in the U.S. It's a big business with little risk and huge income. Did you know that nearly 80% of sex-trafficking victims are American born U.S. Citizens? I truly feel this is an issue that doesn't get enough attention today and I'm not exactly sure why. Is it because we don't want to believe this kind of thing goes on, we don't want to visualize the horror of young children being kidnapped for this purpose? It's hard to swallow as a parent of 2, soon to be 3, little girls. So how do we balance shelter and space with our children?

My sitter watches my youngest once a week while I make the trek into the weekly office visit to let everyone know I still work there. I usually drop off my littlest after I take the oldest to school. The babysitter is a school mom and has three kids, including one in my daughter's grade. I nearly had a heart attack when I dropped my kids off at the babysitters early and she had to take one of my kids to school instead of myself. My daughter is in Kindergarten. My fear was that she wouldn't walk my child directly to the school door. I know, helicopter mom. I was afraid she would just let my daughter walk with her kids, two of which my daughter has never met... What would be the dangers of that? My anxiety and over reaction kicked in as I thought of all the possibilities of my daughter not arriving to school that day. I would not be able to visually verify her walking through those school doors. I was a crazy wreck because of the dangers our society presents. Not because I didn't trust this Mom. I didn't trust the world around us.

She did end up walking them all that day and even if she didn't I'm sure it would all be fine. But still, I just want to shelter and protect my child. What is ironic is that growing up I lived only 4 house down from a known and convicted child molester, who was a repeat offender. Still, I was allowed to play outside and run between each neighbor's yards as if the danger was not present. Perhaps my children can still live the carefree old fashioned childhood, just under the loving shelter of our home.



I recently read this article about why a parent does not allow sleepovers for their children. Not even with family members. At first, I thought this idea was a bit extreme but then after really thinking about it I'm never really at ease when my children are away from the home. They often sleep over at their Nana and Papa's house and I'm very comfortable with that. As a person who usually leaves her phone at the bottom of her purse and can hardly be reached on the weekends because I just like to unplug, I always have my phone by my side when the children are a way.



The article does open a world of the possibilities and dangers that are present when a child is away from home during the overnight hours. They're much more vulnerable to these dangers at a sleepover. What I appreciate is the author points out the not so typically dangers that seem to be more than not, the situations we don't necessarily think of. Were these dangers present when I was a child, absolutely. Can these risks be possible even in the care of a child's own family, yes. The point is to minimize these risks and I think I will do the same.


I hope to shelter my children, so what little they do have left of a childhood they can enjoy the old fashion way. I hope to shelter them just enough to protect them but not hover... Maybe just a little. I want then to climb trees and scrape their knees. I want them to come home with dirt between their nails and an amazing adventure to tell.


What do you think about sleepovers? If you do allow them at what age is it okay?

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12 weeks to go

I'm really kinda stinking at this blogging thing lately. I've been so occupied by my capstone class and planning our first meeting as a Daisy Scout troop leader that things have fallen to the side. I will be so relieved and excited once I am finally done with school!!

12 Weeks to go!!!!

I only have 12 weeks left to complete my Bachelors degree. It seems like forever ago I was finally going back to finish up after taking a unintended 8 year break from my Associates. It's been about two and a half years since I went back and it's been non stop!

I've been a full time student through....
.... working full time
....giving birth to my second child.
....moving twice
... through 2 vacations
....being a first time home buyer and going through that agonizing process
....my husband being a full time student too

If there is one thing that I have learned through this process it's that you can't put things on hold for school and you can put school on hold because of life. If I can make it through this, anyone can.

There really isn't any excuse.

Children. Work. Buying a home. Vacation. Not ready.

These are excuses I hear everyday as I advise grown adults to complete their education. I work in the education field and I know that people hold themselves back ALL THE TIME!

Don't let doubt, fear, or lack of self confidence talk you out of it.
Go for it!
If I can get my homework done from a hotel room while on our Disney vacation then so can you! Every time you say "I'll start next semester" is just a greater chance you won't start at all. So stop holding yourself back with whatever you want to accomplish in life, not just your education.

12 weeks and the countdown begins! I'm really ready to burst!
Posted on September 29, 2014 and filed under Education.

Taking a Time Out and a Recipe

Sometimes you just need to take a time out. There have been things on my mind lately that have been taking over my life and I couldn't find the right words to type. I had a post that I have been staring at for two weeks now and it just never felt right to hit publish. It was about struggling and not being in the right frame of mind and I will leave it at that. I have prayed for patience, understanding and to not feel so resentful. While I don't feel 100% sometimes you just need to push through the block to get out of the rut.

I started a new THING on Monday. We'll call it a thing even though it's a diet. It's the Fast Metabolism Diet. I've had a couple of friends try the 28 day plan and have had some great results. The thing I like about this diet is I don't limit how much I eat and it's all real foods. One of the things I can't have is caffeine, which has taken a toll on me the past two days. I love my morning coffee but I really need this THING to work. I've been a dieter now for 10 years and I still continue to beat my all time max weight record. I'm hoping this will be the lifestyle change of my life, like the last 10 were supposed to be. I've lost 6 pounds in four days! So far so good.

The past couple months, every weekend has been jam packed that I haven't had an opportunity to just sit. I need some relaxation and some rest.That is exactly how I plan on spending the rest of my long weekend. Maybe even a trip to the Zoo!

So as I'm sitting her craving a buttery cheesy something, as this THING doesn't allow dairy, I revert back to one of my older recipes that I am so wishing I could sink my teeth into right now.

Croque Monsieur

This is so delicious. I got this recipe for Ina Garten! She is one of my favorite chefs. I changed the recipe a bit to fit what I had in my kitchen. I also changed the sauce, I felt it wasn't thickening enough.
This is a great brunch recipe and so easy to make!


Ingredients

  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup hot milk
  • 1 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • pinch of nutmeg
  • 12 ounces mozzarella, grated (5 1/2 cups)
  • 16 slices white sandwich bread, crusts removed
  • Spicy brown mustard
  • 8 ounces baked Virginia ham, sandwich sliced at your deli.

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Melt the butter over low heat in a small saucepan and add the flour all at once, stirring with a wooden spoon for 2 minutes. 
Slowly pour the hot milk into the butter–flour mixture and cook, whisking constantly, until the sauce is thickened. 
Remove the heat  and add the salt, pepper, nutmeg, 1 cup of the Mozzarella and set aside.
Toast the bread, bake on a baking sheet 5 minutes. Turn each slice and bake for another 2 minutes, until toasted.
Lightly brush half the toasted breads with mustard, add two slices of ham to each, and sprinkle with half the remaining Mozzarella. 
Top with another piece of toasted bread. Slather the tops with the cheese sauce, sprinkle with the remaining Mozzarella, and bake the sandwiches for 5 minutes. 
Turn on the broiler and broil for 3 to 5 minutes, or until the topping is bubbly and lightly browned. Serve hot.
 
 Enjoy and have a great weekend!


Posted on May 22, 2014 .

Thirty Something Bucket List

Photo: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!!  I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!
It's been over a week now that I have reluctantly celebrated my 30th fiesta. While so much has changed in the past year, reality has awakened me to realize I have more work than ever to get started on.

I had a quarter-life crisis last year turning 29 and had a whole year to cope with the fact that I'm no longer a spring chicken. One of the things I did want to work on, my over all health, I have failed miserably at. Within the last few months, I've completely let that task go and was brutally made aware after viewing some pictures from my surprise birthday soiree my hubby threw me. Yeah, he's sweet like that!

Over the past week, I indulged in a makeover session to which I found that I was sporting the wrong hair style all along. I also managed to shot my first gun ever! I was terrified and made me realize how dangerous these things are!


Turning 30 has made me re-evaluate my life and with the closing of our very first home next week, I have created a bucket list of the things I hope to accomplish for this next year.


  1. Get healthy and fit.
  2. Grow an organic garden.
  3. Devote more time to my blog development
  4. Work towards a Proverbs 31 wife.
  5. Devote more time to prayer
  6. Be more environmentally conscience and educate myself on self sustainability.
  7. Be more present for my children and by present I mean engaged not just physically there.
  8. Finish my Bachelor's in Communications (expected Oct 2014)
  9. Write an eBook
  10. Start up my own business.... already in the works!
  11. Get a tattoo
  12. Make our new home into a haven.
  13. Learn how to handle a gun.


Maybe someday I will share my life long bucket list:)

Do any of you write bucket lists? What is your number one?
Posted on November 1, 2013 .

Happy Fall

Life has really kicked me in the butt... It's been a long time since I last wrote or even opened up my blogger account and I feel terrible about it. It's one of those things I knew I couldn't give 100% so I just avoided it. I'm an avoider. I get this seasonal depression every year around the end of summer. It seems opposites of what it should be. I'm not sure if it's the blazing sun that burns the life out of me every year or I'm on an emotional cycle that just happens to occur during this time?

We've been in the process of buying our first home the past 6 months. It was a bumpy depressing road of "I could see our family here"... to "you were out bid by a cash offer". crash and burns like this happened frequently. Good news is, we shall be in a place to call our own in about a month!

I have lost all motivation for school, even though I'm barely getting through my classes... Okay, a B- is not barely getting through but I know that's not my best and that's a disappointment! It's a disappointment because even though I am hating school right now (along with working full time) for some reason I think... "what if I want to get my Master's? Is this academic progress going to be substantial?" ....as if I would ever have the time to complete that once I'm done!

Or maybe it's the fact that I spend most of my day in lala land and my imagination that is finally crashing into the reality of life?

It could be this yearning to have my own business and something that represents Me. I'm ready to move on creatively but logically, I just cant. We have a plan, and that plan is dependent upon this one thing that I cant change.... at least for right now... so I'm stuck, in this haze, ready and waiting to move on.

Summer is over and the brisk of fall has arrived so I should be out of this funk in time for my 30th next week! Happy Fall!

Posted on October 14, 2013 .

We can only Change Ourselves and our Perspective


The other day I had a conversation with a friend of mine.  We were talking of faith and she was explaining what her life was like growing up with out a mother and an alcoholic father who was not involved with his children. She is much older now and she spoke about all the resentment she had over the years and how she tried to talk with her father about her feelings.

What she told me really spoke to me in that she realized she couldn't change him, she could only take control and change herself. I think many times we have high hopes to change people or at least their opinions of us and our relationships with them. Everyone has their faults. Sometimes talking it out doesn't work and sometimes expressing how it made you feel doesn't matter. People will be who they are and "beating the dead horse" so to speak will get you nowhere. It's more of a fairytale dream to think that we can and we need to come to terms with the fact.

My friend said "If you can change your perspective and look at the situation in a slightly different, more positive way then maybe that tiny shift can make our whole outlook a little better and the cross (baggage) that we carry a little lighter."

I just stopped right there...
She went on to say "we can only change ourselves, we can only work on ourselves to be the best we can be. By working on ourselves to be the goodness that we hope to be, we can be a better mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend"

I know from my own experiences that many times I get so caught up in defending myself and who I am that I don't stop and look at what is really happening. We always need to be right, we always need to win (by using the term We I mean me and anyone else like this) and this mentality makes us stubborn and our understanding and care of other people is slowly pushed down the list of virtues. Some people can be downright mean and downright crazy and absolutely wrong... but we can't change that, we can only change ourselves and how we act and think and this year my goal has been to become a better me. I have been changing somethings in my life to live a healthier more natural and sustainable life but I have forgotten about the mental and spiritual self.

It's hard... I know! I fight with myself and think "why should I be the one to change?" Then I remember that the world does not revolve around me and my opinions or feelings. What we all hope this world possess is goodness and peace, Right? Fighting to be right and heard because we think ourselves are more important then anything in this world... fighting doesn't create peace of mind, it doesn't create peace. Fighting for peace only leads to fighting.



What have you been focusing on this year?

Isn't it ironic how we seem to get exactly what we NEED at just the right time!


I've been meaning to write this post for sometime now but today I wanted to join the link up over at Pour Your Heart Out.

A Toast To Formula Feeding Mothers

I was on a social networking site the other day, when I came across this one mothers picture and post. The picture had a baby and the topic was "The Breastfed Baby" and on this picture was all the different benefits the breastfed baby has over a formula fed baby. The comment this person wrote was "look at what formula can't do for your baby."

I try not to be judgy... I know it doesn't feel good and motherhood alone can feel impossible on certain days without the comments and stares from people, thinking you are a total fail at parenting. For some reason this one post bothered me. It was as if she was pointing her finger at every mother who didn't try hard enough to breast feed.

When I was pregnant with my first, I had envisioned what "type" of mother I wanted to be. Turns out that doesn't really happen... who would have known? Still, its nice to see that somethings I held my ground on. So what if I didn't end up using cloth diapers and saving the environment. Okay, maybe the "make my own baby food" idea didn't last long. Maybe my children don't always eat the healthiest of foods. And despite my firm beliefs in being a stay at home mom and not putting my child in daycare, with my second child that is exactly what I did.

Back to this breastfed baby picture... it was kind of disappointing to see another mother be so judgmental in her comments. I tried, I really did. But in the end I just couldn't. See, some people have problems producing enough milk supply, especially when both of their children were in the NICU and had to be fed a special supplemented diet. It's hard pumping and feeding separately, but even that was not why.
Each time I had to throw in the towel, I was devastated. As if I was letting down my baby or not being a mother by providing the basic need of food. I cried for weeks with my first one. I was so determined that I would with the next one, that I pushed even further. I made it this time to a month and a half and not once was she ever feed from my breast, it was all pumped. I feel as though I have missed out on that bond but I can't look back.

It just really irritates me when people ask if you are breastfeeding, as if the answer to this one question determines you as a mother. I just want to tell all of you mothers out their who have breastfed that have this stigma against mothers who don't....

"Yes I understand all the help benefits of breastfed babies... I was given all of that information when I was seeing my doctor regularly at my prenatal visits"

"No you don't need to rub it in that you stuck with it despite how hard it was"

And finally,

"Yes, I do feel bad that I wasn't able to provide the nutrition and good health to my baby like you...."

Even though my oldest daughter was only breast fed for a couple weeks, she very rarely ever went to the doctor besides her normal check ups. Even though breastfed babies tend to have a higher IQ per say... my daughters language abilities are beyond her age. So it looks like the formula over the breast milk didn't really have that big of an impact on her after all.

Looking at my children today, I'm not disappointed at the "type" of mother I am or will become. I see my children healthy, happy and gosh darn it, amazing!!! I must have done something right in all the wrongs to have raised such an incredible little almost 3 year old!

Here is a toast, to all the mothers that were not able to breastfeed. It's hard enough to be a mother, lets not criticize those that were not able to. We already get it.



Posted on February 22, 2012 .

I wish I had more time, to do the things I really want to do. I wish I was a stay at home mom, devoting my time to my children and family and me. But I don’t have that luxury. I work full time, sometimes odd hours and weekends At the end of the day the exhaustion kicks my butt and puts all the things I dream about during the day in the back of my head. I wish I had more time for photography, oh how I love capturing those moments in time that are so precious! I wish I had more time for crafting, creating those personal gestures that warm the heart like cocoa in the winter. I wish I was more organized and had the energy to have the picture perfect pottery barn home.

I wish I had the time and knowledge to make this bloggy mama thing work, and not just some random journal entries to vent here and there.

I can be inconsistent. Some might say this is a downfall, I think it just makes me unique. I need to keep my brain stimulated with new things. Or maybe I just enjoy so many things and want to take in and experience all it is that this messy life has to offer.

All these ideas, what seem to be great ideas, just go to waste.
I could be amazing, if I had more time.
Posted on July 26, 2011 .

Being a working Mom sucks

I'm exhausted.

I started a new job about three weeks ago. A full time job, something I haven't done in two years. Something I haven't done while being a mother. I didn't want to go back to work, it was more a matter of finances and a great opportunity. I don't like it though, being a full time working mom. I hate missing out on the pajama mornings and spending the day with my little one.

Today was Bella's first day without tears going to daycare. Daycare makes me uneasy. My Mom picked her up today, (I'm required to stay late two nights a week at my job) and she told me a lovely story about how she couldn't get into the class room because two little boys had a table propped against it and they were standing on it. When she knocked on the door, one of the little boys jumped down and began pushing the table out of the way, while the other boy was still standing on the table! I asked her if the teacher was in the room and she was. Does this seem unsafe to anyone that two year olds are allowed to do this?

1)Children shouldn't be allowed to stand on tables


2)They shouldn't be standing on tables while blocking the door


3)They shouldn't be pushing tables around while children are standing on them

I've got a headache and a million thoughts bouncing around in my head. I feel nauseous.
Posted on May 18, 2011 .